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Diary 1-13-2012

January 13, 2012

I kinda feel like shit today.  My back hurts and I feel old.  I never wanted to become the grandpa, but I feel it slowly creeping in. I thought I knew all the trends, but my time living in the middle of nowhere has left me trend hungry.  What’s new in music, what are people wearing, and most of all…what are they thinking?  Oh hell, I don’t even know what I’m thinking anymore.  Is it possible to be old at 48?  Will my pants be pulled up higher?  Well I start wearing shoes with velcro closures?  Will I join a church group?  Ugh.

I diet endlessly because I don’t want that old man stomach, but instead I get a hanging ass and chin.  So quickly those years behind have become memories of something lost.

I didn’t leave my house until I was 33 and now at 48 I wonder why I ever did.  I thought it was because there was a whole world out there and I wanted to see and experience it all.  Those four walls never held the promise of something new and now I find that leaving those four walls was pointless anyway.  All the stuff is gone…all of it.  Did something better come along to replace it all?  No.

Funny thing about life…it is what you make it, but sometimes it’s what you make with what you’re given.  Regrets?  You’re goddamn right!  Watch out, I’m driving a car and I’m a little pissy today.


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