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What’s Wrong

May 13, 2012

With America that is.  Well, I’m going to tell you.  Pay full price for something and get half of what you’re paying for whether it be a service or a product.  How about the Internet that I’m paying full price for, but half the time never works.  Or the nice shirt I bought that says, “Warm iron if needed”.  Which really means, you’re going to need that iron and it better be set to cotton with steam because you’ll be ironing that bitch every time you take it out of the dryer.  Or how about food that spoils in 2 days or less.  Have you bought banana’s lately?


My Apple laptop is is at least 8 years old and some might say it’s time to upgrade, but why would I do that if it’s always done what I needed it to do?  I’ll tell you why I have to buy a new one.  It’s because the iPod I got for Christmas won’t plug into the Macbook unless I install a newer operating system which I can’t because my laptop is too old.  There it is again… full price and get half.


How about getting gas?  I put 30 bucks into that tank….stopped that pump right on 30 and when I take my receipt I see somehow magically I got charged $30.01.  Okay, it’s just a penny, but it’s my fucking penny!


The workplace is certainly no different.  Hire me to do a job which was described to me in detail and suddenly I’m doing the work of three people, but only getting paid for one. And why is it the tax man (Uncle Sam) all of a sudden is wanting more of my fucking money?  Make more and come away with less.


Of course the new motto in America is keep your trap shut and go with the flow.  Fuck that!  What I really want to do is start charging companies my my time and what I’m out of pocket, for a product or service that never was what you sold it as.  The Internet that keeps going out, I want half of the money back that I paid you for the month for, but never got.  The shirt I’ll return for a full refund, but I want included in that refund my time and cost of gas that it took too discover that you lied to me.  The extra penny you charged me I want back, but I also want to be paid for my time that it took to walk in and argue with you.


How about we tell Uncle Sam….hey, fuck you man!  It costs more to live today so you’re only going to get half of what you used to get.  As for the shirt and bananas they should come with a warning label.  Buy the bananas today and eat them today because that’s all the time you got to eat me.  As for the shirt, simple…put a label on the fucker that says you’re going to need a maid because this shit is gonna need ironing everytime you wash and dry it.


I’m now of a mindset that if a business calls me on the phone at my home I want a credit card number up front because it’s gonna cost you this time and every other time you call me.  I should also start charging for the therapy I’m going to need.  Anger management ain’t cheap, but if I split it seven ways to Sunday then you shouldn’t bitch too much.  Of course if I share this with the average person they think I’m nuts, but the truth of the matter is that YOU’VE been assimilated into the new world order and I’m standing there with a grenade launcher letting you know….”I don’t think so!”  By the way, I can take your credit card number, but I need the 3 digit number on the back.



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